That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
