Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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