yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
