dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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