Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
