Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
