dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
