yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
