What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
