She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
