I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
then he tried to convert me to islam
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
