i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize