I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
