sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Randomize
