Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
