Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I love you. Go after that dick
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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