Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
