well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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