Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
