just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
