Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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