when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
