he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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