DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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