Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
