Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drunk is not a location!
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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