"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Found the puke drawer
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
