Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Randomize