i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
