Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
