I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
