3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Thank you for not boning my boss.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
