Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
