Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
