FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize