Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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