East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
