I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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