I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
