These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
