How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize