wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you have feelings for this penis?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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