Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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