Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
