Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
