You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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