ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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