Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
A bitchslap is in order.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
