so that wasnt chicken after all
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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