Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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