she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Shame - the story of my life.
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