you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
