i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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