if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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