Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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