just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
