He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
