and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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