Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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