God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
